The book: The Hidden Reality by Brian Green.
The first sentence: “If, when I was growing up, my room had only been adorned with a single mirror, my childhood daydreams might have been very different.”
The cover designer: Abby Weintraub
The bathing suit: Mare One Piece by Missoni. $534.
via MATCHBOOK. bikinis meet their match.
Okay, you win, this idea is too cute. Kudos!
“Wendy’s Wants Consumers To Know It’s Fine With Gays, Disapproves Of Interracial Marriage” – The OnionPosted: 2012/07/30
DUBLIN, OH—Responding to Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy’s recent controversial admission of the company’s donations to antigay groups, a statement from competing fast food chain Wendy’s let consumers know Monday that it has long supported same-sex couples and only harbors strong objections to interracial marriage. “It’s important that Wendy’s customers know our restaurant proudly stands by the right of all Americans to marry whomever they choose, so long as it isn’t someone of a different race,” said spokeswoman Jenna Knox, adding that while Wendy’s has always backed pro-gay legislation, it found miscegenation “an abominable offense to God’s will.” “Just like our founder Dave Thomas, we dream of living in an America where two loving people of the same sex can freely wed, provided of course that both people are also of the same race, and that no black, Asian, Latin American, or other non-European heritage is allowed to de-purify the white racial bloodline.” Following the Wendy’s statement, executives from Jack in the Box confirmed that they too had always supported gay rights and the Holocaust never happened.
The Onion has seriously been so wonderful this last year. A+++ y’all.
I bolded the last line because it made me snort a little.
“Anger over “Obamacare” leads to assault on deli worker”
When we talked with her behind bars, Amber Gardner said this wasn’t about politics. She didn’t even know about ObamaCare.
She said she did what she did because she has a drug problem and needs help.
“Let’s just say I did some dope, I did some meth,” Gardner told us in a jailhouse interview.
Someone mentions Obamacare in a drug-fueled rant, then admits later they don’t even know what it is & they were just really fucked up…. but still with the title?
It’s all good trying to capture an audience’s attention, but maybe not have your title be completely proven wrong in the actual article.
In other news, I’m going to start a newspaper about what all the schizophrenic bums say because apparently this shit is news. I’m particularly concerned about how the FBI is using this one guy’s brain to broadcast messages that God is angry and buildings keep watching him. Also, that one (completely harmless) lady* that just yells curse words all the time in the Sunset. I would like to hear what she has to say about politics.
“Let’s just say I did some dope, I did some meth” did make me laugh. Pretty decent honesty there. I hope she does get help… and not more media attention for what she yells when she is on heavy drugs.
* I actually really enjoy that lady. If you are in the SF/Sunset/Irving area, you will know who I am talking about. She says mean things but you can tell she is just confused. I wish I could help her too, but I guess she’s been doing that for years. If it makes her happy, then I am absolutely fine with her yelling at me every once-in-awhile.
PS- I didn’t even mean to go full circle here, but I actually led us back to healthcare— we NEED to do more for the mentally ill in our country. I don’t see why people think that healthcare for profit is the best idea, or why we shouldn’t be trying to help these clearly mentally ill people who really need some mental health treatment (AT LEAST). What, we fully cover all prisoners in jail, but little poor kids and adults with no one to look after them– fuck them? That seems fair.
You want to make a “scary” person even scarier? Just make it so they have nothing to lose. Brilliant idea. Great for everyone involved, guys.
I wish we could actually vote SOMEWHAT on where our taxes went. Sorry, defense budget, I’m going to have to throw some money at the destitute because I am not a sociopath.
They say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.
The family and friends of Val Patterson, it turns out, had a thief with bogus academic credentials on their hands.
Patterson, 59, died of throat cancer on July 10, but wrote his own first-person obituary last fall, KSL-TV reports. The obituary, rife with grammatical errors, was published in the Salt Lake Tribune.
It begins by detailing Patterson’s passion for science and love for his wife. After the first paragraph, however, the obituary takes a surprising turn.
“As it turns out,” Patterson wrote, “I AM the guy who stole the safe from View Drive Inn back in June, 1971.”
That’s not the only secret Patterson had to share. He revealed that his Ph.D. from the University of Utah was not legitimate. An office worker allegedly made a filing error that resulted in Patterson mistakenly receiving a diploma in the mail.
In reality, Patterson had not completed enough school to obtain an undergraduate degree, and “never did even learn what the letters ‘PhD’ even stood for.” [LOL]
Patterson pointed out that his lack of schooling never got in the way of his success, however. “For all the Electronic Engineers I have worked with,” he wrote, “I’m sorry, but you have to admit my designs always worked very well.”
The list of shenanigans went on and on. Patterson addressed an unnamed “really mean Park ranger,” confessing that he did indeed fill the park’s geyser with rocks. He also claimed to have been “banned for life” from both Disneyland and Sea World San Diego, though he does not specify why.
Mary Jane, Patterson’s wife of 33 years, told KSL that everything her husband said was true.
Patterson’s obituary is more than just a confessional, however. He wrote at length on his “inseparable” bond with Mary Jane, and on the satisfaction of living a full life.
“I enjoyed one good life,” Patterson wrote, “[I] traveled to every place on earth that I ever wanted to go. Had every job that I wanted to have. Learned all that I wanted to learn. Fixed everything I wanted to fix. Eaten everything I wanted to eat.”
Patterson stated that his only real regret was smoking cigarettes, which ultimately led to his throat cancer.
“My pain is enormous,” he wrote, “but it pales in comparison to watching my wife feel my pain as she lovingly cares for and comforts me…”