is it a f-ing baby wheeel?

NSFW as it contains 5 billion curses. God bless this guy. I keep playing this in the background and can’t stop giggling.

“That’s a tuner bro! Jay, that’s a tuner or something. Jay, look at it. Come on. Oh man, Jay, let’s pull it in dude. LOOK AT THAT FUCKING THING. OH MY GOD. HO-LY SHIT. OH MY GOD, man. We are seeing some shit we ain’t never seen before…”

Source: Michael Bergin


Exit the Noid

[…]Then, right at the height of his popularity, the Noid endured perhaps the worst mascot PR in history.

On January 30, 1989, a man wielding a .357 magnum revolver stormed into a Domino’s in Atlanta, Georgia and took two employees hostage. For five hours, he engaged in a standoff with police, all the while ordering his hostages to make him pizzas. Before the police could negotiate with his demands ($100,000, a getaway car, and a copy of The Widow’s Son – a novel about Freemasons), the two employees escaped. In the ensuing chaos, the captor fired two gunshots into the establishment’s ceiling, was forcefully apprehended, and received charges of kidnapping, aggravated assault, and theft by extortion.

The assailant, a 22-year-old named Kenneth Lamar Noid, was apparently upset about the chain’s new mascot. A police officer on the scene later revealed that Noid had “an ongoing feud in his mind with the owner of Domino’s Pizza about the Noid commercials,” and thought the advertisements had specifically made fun of him. A headline the following morning in the Boca Raton News sparked a talk show frenzy: “Domino’s Hostages Couldn’t Avoid the Noid This Time.”

via The Downfall of Domino’s Mascot: The Noid – disinformation.

sad-pizza


travel back in time with street view

Go back in time with Street View

If you’ve ever dreamt of being a time traveler like Doc Brown, now’s your chance. Starting today, you can travel to the past to see how a place has changed over the years by exploring Street View imagery in Google Maps for desktop. We’ve gathered historical imagery from past Street View collections dating back to 2007 to create this digital time capsule of the world.

If you see a clock icon in the upper left-hand portion of a Street View image, click on it and move the slider through time and select a thumbnail to see that same place in previous years or seasons.

Now with Street View, you can see a landmark’s growth from the ground up, like the Freedom Tower in New York City or the 2014 World Cup Stadium in Fortaleza, Brazil. This new feature can also serve as a digital timeline of recent history, like the reconstruction after the devastating 2011 earthquake and tsunami in Onagawa, Japan. You can even experience different seasons and see what it would be like to cruise Italian roadways in both summer and winter…

via Official Google Blog: Go back in time with Street View.


xkcd: Before the Internet

 

via xkcd: Before the Internet.

 

 

It totally was not worth it.


police blotter: woman claims she keeps seeing cleaning women

Woman claims she keeps seeing cleaning women: North Royalton Police Blotter

SUSPICIOUS PERSON, ROYALTON ROAD: A woman reported about 10 a.m. June 2 that three or four women, ages 25-30, came to her house the day before to clean.

The problem was that they never left. In fact, they were coming and going to the house as if they lived there.

To make matters worse, the woman said, when she tried to touch the cleaning women, they would disappear.

via Woman claims she keeps seeing cleaning women: North Royalton Police Blotter | cleveland.com.

 

You guys.

You guys.

You guys, listen.

YOUGUYS.

Who ya gonna call? GHOST DUSTERS.

 

 

(nailed it)


life tip: do not ever ever ever ever act like this ever

I wanted to write a corny title like “she really puts the NUTS in DONUTS” but really I cannot stop thinking about how much it would suck to have been one of the employees 😦

via Lady at Dunkin Donuts Goes Crazy Over Receipt – YouTube.

This is pretty much the most insane overreaction to anything I’ve seen. I cannot believe this happened because THEY DID NOT GIVE HER A RECEIPT THE NIGHT BEFORE. Seriously. That was what caused this.

Favorite quote: “I’m about to nuke your whole fucking planet from Mars.” <<  WHAT?

Okay, I need to look at some kitten pictures… hold on..

k1

Okay… that definitely helps a bit.

k2

Ah! Finally breathing more steadily. Thanks, snuggle kitten.

k3

ACK NO!!! TOO SOON!!!!

k5

It’s okay kitten. It is not your fault.

k6

I’m glad we made up.

godly-kitten1

KITTENS MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER.


this dude must really love picnics

A Polish man has been left critically injured after he allegedly blew up his house when he realised his wife and children had gone on a picnic without him.

Czeslaw Kaminski, 69, was believed to have been so incensed when he woke to find a note from his wife to say that she had gone away for the day with the children that he decided to destroy the family home to teach her a lesson.

He allegedly started a fire in the basement of his home and threw two gas cylinders on top of the property in the village of Chechlo Drugie, near Lodz, in central Poland.

via Czeslaw Kaminski: Maybe she will invite him along next time: Husband left critically injured after blowing up his own house after wife went on picnic without him | Mail Online.

Thank god it wasn’t a BBQ. Also, it MAY have an anger problem. Not sure though.


Excerpts from Vanilla Ice’s Wikipedia Page

Excerpts from Vanilla Ice’s Wikipedia Page, Offered Without Comment: by Sarah Marshall

1. Van Winkle married Laura Giaritta in 1997; they have two daughters, Dusti Rain (born 1998) and KeeLee Breeze (born 2000). Van Winkle is a Juggalo and a vegetarian.

2. Van Winkle’s pet wallaroo, Bucky, and pet goat, Pancho, escaped from his Port St. Lucie, Florida home in November 2004. After wandering around local streets for over a week, the animals were caught and returned to Ice.

3. On February 27, 2009, Van Winkle performed as part of a joint performance with MC Hammer in Orem, Utah called “Hammer Pants And Ice,” which featured 24 dancers and a full choir.

4. In 1993, Ice toured Eastern-Europe again and premiered songs off his upcoming album in St. Petersburg, Russia in front of President Boris Yeltsin.

5. Van Winkle branched out into the film industry with an appearance in the film Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, which he later called “one of the coolest experiences” of his career.

6. While his fame in the United States had severely dropped, Ice continued performing to sold out crowds in his 1992 world tour, playing in South America, Europe, Australia and Asia, premiering new songs like “Get Loose,” “The Wrath,” “Now & Forever,” “Where the Dogs At? (All Night Long),” “Minutes of Power” and “Iceman Path.”

7. In 2009, Van Winkle started filming a reality television series called The Vanilla Ice Project which premiered on DIY Network on October 14, 2010. The season is focused on renovating a house in Palm Beach, Florida with each episode dedicated to a different room in the house. In 2011, Van Winkle published a book on the subject, Vanilla Ice Project – Real Estate Guide on how to succeed in real estate.

8. Van Winkle decided that it was time to change his lifestyle. As a symbol of his attempt to begin anew, he got a tattoo of a leaf on his stomach.

9.  In late 1995, Van Winkle set up a recording studio in Miami and joined a grunge band, Pickin Scabz. The name was set to reflect Van Winkle’s career and how he was healing from his suicide attempt and that he was now “picking up the pieces.

“10. After a performance in Acapulco, the city honored Van Winkle with a medal that represented “all the respect and admiration to [Van Winkle’s] music and to [him] as an artist from the Mexican people.”

11. In December 2011, Van Winkle played Captain Hook in the Chatham, Kent Central Theatre pantomime production of Peter Pan, a role that previously belonged to Henry Winkler.

12. Ice’s lyricism evolved with him.

via http://thehairpin.com/2013/04/excerpts-from-vanilla-ices-wikipedia-page-offered-without-comment

I bolded some of my favorites. I wish I could have triple bolded #12. A Juggalo/vegetarian combo? Amazing. Also, Juggalo rhymes with wallaroo (okay, not really at all, but get over it), and I have no idea what these critters look like.

TELL ME GOOGLE IMAGES..

OMGOSH. I want like seven of these now.

& BRB, gotta go to Amazon & get a copy of that book from #7…

What the hell. They only have Ice by Ice: The Vanilla Ice Story in His Own Words. THIS IS A TRAVESTY (although now I kind of want that one too, but still). I can’t believe my most beloved Amazon failed me. Hmm, maybe they have some wallaroos I can buy.

At least I found some Ice + TMNT action:

I hope I have a dream about this tonight


Stephen Colbert pays tribute to Boston in touching monologue

STEPHEN COLBERT’S TOUCHING TRIBUTE TO BOSTON

Before we begin, I just want to take a moment to talk about the attack in Boston yesterday.’

Obviously our thoughts and our prayers are with everybody there and as the president said, we don’t know who did this but they will be found and they will be brought to justice.’

But whoever did this did obviously did not know s about the people of Boston, because nothing these terrorists do is going to shake them.

‘For Pete’s sake, Boston was founded by the pilgrims – a people so tough they had to buckle their goddamn hats on. It is the cradle of the American revolution. A city that withstood a 86 year losing streak [picture of the Boston Red Sox]. A city that made it through the Big Dig, a construction project that backed up traffic for 16 years. I mean, there are commuters just getting home now.’

Even their bands are tough. It’s the hometown of Aerosmith who, in their fifth decade, are still going strong. Even Steven Tyler looks fantastic – for a 73-year-old woman.’

But here’s what these cowards really don’t get, they attacked the Boston marathon, an event celebrating people who run 26 miles on their day off until their nipples are raw – for fun. And they have been holding it in Boston since 1897. And do you know how tough you have to be to run in a whalebone corset?’

And when those bombs went off there were runners who after finishing a marathon kept running for another two miles to the hospital to donate blood.’

So here’s what I know. These maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston. But all they can ever do is show just how good those people are.’

via Stephen Colbert pays tribute to Boston in touching monologue after marathon bombings | Mail Online.

Perfectly done, Colbert.


“Man Breaks into Museum and Tries to Steal Elephant Tusk with Chainsaw”

Early yesterday morning, a man broke into Paris’s Museum of Natural History and used a chainsaw to cut off the tusk of a 325-year-old elephant skeleton before being caught shortly afterward by police.

Neighbors of the museum called police after hearing a “a strange sawing sound at around 3am” (that would be the chainsaw). When police arrived, they found the thief, who was in his 20s, desperately trying to scale a wall while carrying a tusk, having left the still-whirring chainsaw next to the elephant skeleton. The thief fractured his ankle during his would-be escape.

via Man Breaks into Museum and Tries to Steal Elephant Tusk with Chainsaw.

sadelephant