..While the untamed, flesh-ish colored fur-like thing resting atop Trump’s head may look like his own hair, our investigators were shocked to discover its true origin: a genetically modified rodent. We learned that Trump employs a team of scientists consisting of biologists, geneticists and cryptozoologists who work full-time behind the ornate golden doors of a secret laboratory located inside Trump’s gaudy lavish New York penthouse. Their job is to create and raise a large herd of furry, chimera-like rodents consisting of the spliced DNA of orangutans, rabid weasels, caterpillars and most troubling, a dead chupacabra found flattened on a remote road in East Texas. Trump barges into the laboratory every morning to mercilessly grab a woeful creature and slap it atop his head. The younger, smaller creatures are used as Trump’s eyebrows and if you look closely, you may observe them curled up and sleeping on the hot orange flesh above The Donald’s angry eyes..
A 26-year-old Brunswick man was arrested about 5 a.m. this morning after he climbed aboard the River Queen and damaged equipment in the boat’s wheelhouse, Savannah-Chatham metro police are reporting.
William Cole was first noticed by a passing cab driver, Tim Irish, who heard a commotion along Rousakis Plaza. As he swung a flashlight around the area, he saw a shirtless man yelling atop the uppermost deck of boat….
He told officers “the boat had angered him because of the way it was looking at him.”
A newly released video shows Tom Smith, a Republican Senate candidate in Pennsylvania, making a sexist remark during a Paul Ryan campaign event last week.
Tom Smith, the Republican Senate candidate from Pennsylvania who said earlier this week that pregnancy from rape was similar to “having a baby out of wedlock,” made another sexist remark to two women at a campaign event for vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan.
A video released Thursday by the Pennsylvania Democrats shows Smith, who introduced Ryan at an event last week, greeting two women in the crowd and asking them what they’re talking about.
“We’re talking about the power of petite women,” one of the women says.
“Oh,” Smith responds. “My guess would have been you were talking about shoes.”
Republicans have been working extra hard to appeal to female voters in order to distance themselves from Todd Akin’s notorious “legitimate rape” comment and to make their party appear more diverse. Candidates like Smith, who is challenging incumbent Sen. Bob Casey (D-Pa.) in the November election, could potentially put a serious dent in that effort.
In addition to the “shoes” comment, Smith also made an odd economic analogy at a campaign event on Monday about a woman wrecking her husband’s car.
“Perhaps where we’re making our mistake is that we are asking President Obama and Senator Bob Casey to do something they have no knowledge of. They’ve never been in business, they’ve never ran [sic] businesses, they don’t have that knowledge,” Smith said. “It would be like, your wife wrecks your car. You’re gonna take it to the beauty salon to get fixed? No.”
Tom Smith’s campaign did not immediately return a request for comment.
Oh & if you don’t know the picture at the top, you must watch this:
Actually read through the whole thing if it doesn’t hurt your brain too much’s. If not, my favorite’s include’sssssss:
– ENVIRONMENTALIST’S (really?)
– P.K’s (seriously can not figure out what this is)
– EFFEMINATE MEN (uhh what)
– EMO’S (lol)
– LOUD MOUTH WOMEN (well this one makes sense at least)