life tip: do not ever ever ever ever act like this ever

I wanted to write a corny title like “she really puts the NUTS in DONUTS” but really I cannot stop thinking about how much it would suck to have been one of the employees 😦

via Lady at Dunkin Donuts Goes Crazy Over Receipt – YouTube.

This is pretty much the most insane overreaction to anything I’ve seen. I cannot believe this happened because THEY DID NOT GIVE HER A RECEIPT THE NIGHT BEFORE. Seriously. That was what caused this.

Favorite quote: “I’m about to nuke your whole fucking planet from Mars.” <<  WHAT?

Okay, I need to look at some kitten pictures… hold on..

k1

Okay… that definitely helps a bit.

k2

Ah! Finally breathing more steadily. Thanks, snuggle kitten.

k3

ACK NO!!! TOO SOON!!!!

k5

It’s okay kitten. It is not your fault.

k6

I’m glad we made up.

godly-kitten1

KITTENS MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER.


Finally– Trump’s hair explained

poor little critter 😦

..While the untamed, flesh-ish colored fur-like thing resting atop Trump’s head may look like his own hair, our investigators were shocked to discover its true origin: a genetically modified rodent. We learned that Trump employs a team of scientists consisting of biologists, geneticists and cryptozoologists who work full-time behind the ornate golden doors of a secret laboratory located inside Trump’s gaudy lavish New York penthouse. Their job is to create and raise a large herd of furry, chimera-like rodents consisting of the spliced DNA of orangutans, rabid weasels, caterpillars and most troubling, a dead chupacabra found flattened on a remote road in East Texas. Trump barges into the laboratory every morning to mercilessly grab a woeful creature and slap it atop his head. The younger, smaller creatures are used as Trump’s eyebrows and if you look closely, you may observe them curled up and sleeping on the hot orange flesh above The Donald’s angry eyes..

via Gallery of the Absurd: Celebrity Hair Beasts: Donald Trump.


boat had it coming

A 26-year-old Brunswick man was arrested about 5 a.m. this morning after he climbed aboard the River Queen and damaged equipment in the boat’s wheelhouse, Savannah-Chatham metro police are reporting.

William Cole was first noticed by a passing cab driver, Tim Irish, who heard a commotion along Rousakis Plaza. As he swung a flashlight around the area, he saw a shirtless man yelling atop the uppermost deck of boat….

He told officers “the boat had angered him because of the way it was looking at him.”

via Brunswick man charged with vandalizing Savannah’s River Queen | savannahnow.com.

"Who, me?"

“Who, me?”


your hair is not that bad, girl

via 10 Retro Ads That Made Women Look Like Complete Idiots.


Florida Man on Twitter

Screen shot 2013-02-25 at 10.10.01 PM

This Twitter is brilliant. It just scoops up real crime articles that have “Florida Man” present in the title. SO GOOD.

Some choice examples:

Florida Man Traps Ex-Girlfriend’s Mother Into A Fold-Out Couch | http://bit.ly/fJPLwo

Florida Man Threatens Neighbor With Chainsaw He Can’t Start | http://bit.ly/UskBe0

Florida Man Slapped With Warning After Riding Dying Sperm Whale | http://bit.ly/12WT6Pf

High On Synthetic Weed, Florida Man Calls 911 Twice To Report That His Dreams Are Real | http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/2012-09-04/news/os-man-calls-911-dreams-drugs-20120904_1_dispatcher-synthetic-marijuana-dream …

all via Florida Man _FloridaMan on Twitter.


U-S-eh

Will the U.S. catch up with the rest of the world during President Obama’s second term? Advocates are working to get a national law passed while some states are expanding family leave policies, the Atlantic reports. See a new White House petition here. In the meantime, certain companies understand that keeping new parents happy makes more sense than replacing them, which generally costs somewhere between 50 and 200 percent of a worker’s salary. When Google lengthened its maternity leave from three months to five and made it fully paid, new-mom attrition fell by half.

 

via Paid Parental Leave: U.S. vs. The World (INFOGRAPHIC).

 


facebook face

Parent Monica Watson reacts to Facebook posts by teacher Tameka Gatewood.

via Tameka Gatewood, Kindergarten Teacher, Suspended For Threatening, Inappropriate Facebook Comments About Students.

FACE. Perfect.

Some of the comments in question?:

“How bout I blasted both of them. The girl in my class hair is nappy almost every day and the boy wears dirty clothes, face nasty and can’t even read. They didn’t bother nobody else when I got through with them.”

“What do you think you’re supposed to do? Bang! Bang! Shoot ’em up dammit! Just kidding!! For real tho – slap their ass back then Bang! Bang! Shoot ’em up dammit.”

How was this person a teacher in the first place?

Also, FACE!


worst immune system ever

via It was brave of you to come into work with the flu and give us all the flu | Get Well Ecard | someecards.com.
Ugh totally. This will annoy me until the day I die from some illness a coworker gave me.


LOL WOMEN LOVE SHOES LOL KITCHEN SANDWICH PMS I BROKE A NAIL :(

kelly

A newly released video shows Tom Smith, a Republican Senate candidate in Pennsylvania, making a sexist remark during a Paul Ryan campaign event last week.

Tom Smith, the Republican Senate candidate from Pennsylvania who said earlier this week that pregnancy from rape was similar to “having a baby out of wedlock,” made another sexist remark to two women at a campaign event for vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan.

A video released Thursday by the Pennsylvania Democrats shows Smith, who introduced Ryan at an event last week, greeting two women in the crowd and asking them what they’re talking about.

“We’re talking about the power of petite women,” one of the women says.

“Oh,” Smith responds. “My guess would have been you were talking about shoes.”

Republicans have been working extra hard to appeal to female voters in order to distance themselves from Todd Akin’s notorious “legitimate rape” comment and to make their party appear more diverse. Candidates like Smith, who is challenging incumbent Sen. Bob Casey (D-Pa.) in the November election, could potentially put a serious dent in that effort.

In addition to the “shoes” comment, Smith also made an odd economic analogy at a campaign event on Monday about a woman wrecking her husband’s car.

“Perhaps where we’re making our mistake is that we are asking President Obama and Senator Bob Casey to do something they have no knowledge of. They’ve never been in business, they’ve never ran [sic] businesses, they don’t have that knowledge,” Smith said. “It would be like, your wife wrecks your car. You’re gonna take it to the beauty salon to get fixed? No.”

Tom Smith’s campaign did not immediately return a request for comment.

via Tom Smith, GOP Senate Candidate, Assumes Women Are ‘Talking About Shoes’ At Paul Ryan Campaign Event.

Oh & if you don’t know the picture at the top, you must watch this:


apostrophe blasphemy

Religious Poster Commits Horrifying Sins Against Proper Apostrophe Usage | Happy Place.

Actually read through the whole thing if it doesn’t hurt your brain too much’s. If not, my favorite’s include’sssssss:

ENVIRONMENTALIST’S (really?)

P.K’s (seriously can not figure out what this is)

EFFEMINATE MEN (uhh what)

EMO’S (lol)

LOUD MOUTH WOMEN (well this one makes sense at least)