city to strike only good law

City to strike ban on being willfully annoying

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (AP) — It’s soon expected to be OK to be willfully annoying in Grand Rapids.

The Grand Rapids Press reports (http://bit.ly/1cqxCRm ) that the City Commission is nixing a 38-year-old section of city code that states “no person shall willfully annoy another person.” City Attorney Catherine Mish recommended repealing the language, saying the wording is “unconstitutional in terms of being vague” and “simply unenforceable.” A final decision is expected March 11.

via City to strike ban on being willfully annoying – World news.

related: there’s apparently a wiki how on How to Not Be Annoying in case you are ridiculously maladjusted.


twitter / @crushingbort on boatmurder

via Twitter / crushingbort: thank you cnn I’m glad these ….


police blotter: woman claims she keeps seeing cleaning women

Woman claims she keeps seeing cleaning women: North Royalton Police Blotter

SUSPICIOUS PERSON, ROYALTON ROAD: A woman reported about 10 a.m. June 2 that three or four women, ages 25-30, came to her house the day before to clean.

The problem was that they never left. In fact, they were coming and going to the house as if they lived there.

To make matters worse, the woman said, when she tried to touch the cleaning women, they would disappear.

via Woman claims she keeps seeing cleaning women: North Royalton Police Blotter | cleveland.com.

 

You guys.

You guys.

You guys, listen.

YOUGUYS.

Who ya gonna call? GHOST DUSTERS.

 

 

(nailed it)


rejection affection

gstein

If you need some encouragement, rejection letters of the immensely talented are always helpful.

Self-help books often advise that the fastest way to achieve success is through failure: failing often and failing up. Even great writers like George Orwell suffered setbacks, like when his novel Animal Farm was rejected as a “stupid and pointless fable” by Knopf Publishers in 1945. So when the Sundance Film Festival asked artist and photographer Taryn Simon to create something to kick off its Free Fail campaign, a series of panels “designed to embrace failure as essential to risk-taking, innovation, and the creative process,” she decided to make a video flip book of rejection letters.

But in the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it section between those two bookends is: A rejection letter from the music label Sub Pop that begins “Dear Loser,” a denial from the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Clown College, and a rejection of a Star Trek spec script. There is also a letter – recently noted by Meryl Streep in her National Board of Review gala speech honoring Emma Thompson and slamming Walt Disney – that explains to one aspiring female artist in the 1930s that women were not welcome to do “the creative work in connection with preparing the cartoons for the screen, as that task is performed entirely by young men.”

via The Rejection Letters That Burned Everyone From George Orwell to Aspiring Clowns | Underwire | Wired.com.


“Lyrical Variants of “The Wheels on the Bus,” in Order of Wrongness”

5. \”The people on the bus go up and down.\”

4. \”The driver on the bus says, \’Step back, please.\’\”

3. \”The mommies on the bus say, \’I love you.\’\”

2. \”The daddies on the bus say, \’I love you too.\’\”

1. \”All day long.\”

 

via “Lyrical Variants of “The Wheels on the Bus,” in Order of Wrongness”.

I am SUCH a fan of this title. Clap clap clap.


Every Every Every Generation Has Been the Me Me Me Generation

New York, August 23, 1976: “The ‘Me’ Decade and the Third Great Awakening.” Tom Wolfe opened this story with a sobering account of some kind of Los Angeles thing in which a couple hundred people got together and pressed “the reset button” on something that really bothered them, and for one lady, that thing was hemorrhoids. “In her experience lies the explanation of certain grand puzzles of the 1970s, a period that will come to be known as the Me Decade.”

via Every Every Every Generation Has Been the Me Me Me Generation – Elspeth Reeve – The Atlantic Wire.

Duh. Every day is me day.


life tip: do not ever ever ever ever act like this ever

I wanted to write a corny title like “she really puts the NUTS in DONUTS” but really I cannot stop thinking about how much it would suck to have been one of the employees 😦

via Lady at Dunkin Donuts Goes Crazy Over Receipt – YouTube.

This is pretty much the most insane overreaction to anything I’ve seen. I cannot believe this happened because THEY DID NOT GIVE HER A RECEIPT THE NIGHT BEFORE. Seriously. That was what caused this.

Favorite quote: “I’m about to nuke your whole fucking planet from Mars.” <<  WHAT?

Okay, I need to look at some kitten pictures… hold on..

k1

Okay… that definitely helps a bit.

k2

Ah! Finally breathing more steadily. Thanks, snuggle kitten.

k3

ACK NO!!! TOO SOON!!!!

k5

It’s okay kitten. It is not your fault.

k6

I’m glad we made up.

godly-kitten1

KITTENS MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER.


Finally– Trump’s hair explained

poor little critter 😦

..While the untamed, flesh-ish colored fur-like thing resting atop Trump’s head may look like his own hair, our investigators were shocked to discover its true origin: a genetically modified rodent. We learned that Trump employs a team of scientists consisting of biologists, geneticists and cryptozoologists who work full-time behind the ornate golden doors of a secret laboratory located inside Trump’s gaudy lavish New York penthouse. Their job is to create and raise a large herd of furry, chimera-like rodents consisting of the spliced DNA of orangutans, rabid weasels, caterpillars and most troubling, a dead chupacabra found flattened on a remote road in East Texas. Trump barges into the laboratory every morning to mercilessly grab a woeful creature and slap it atop his head. The younger, smaller creatures are used as Trump’s eyebrows and if you look closely, you may observe them curled up and sleeping on the hot orange flesh above The Donald’s angry eyes..

via Gallery of the Absurd: Celebrity Hair Beasts: Donald Trump.


THE WORST ROOM

 

 

A BLOG ABOUT TRYING TO FIND AFFORDABLE HOUSING IN NEW YORK CITY

tumblr_mmhf4gA4Om1spj6p2o1_400

 

VIA: THE WORST ROOM.

This makes me feel SLIGHTLY better about the rent in San Francisco right now. Very slightly. I think we’re going to have to start charging our kitties rent.

Cuddles are nice, Clementine, but that don't pay my bills.

Cuddles are nice, Clementine, but that don’t pay my bills.


Excerpts from Vanilla Ice’s Wikipedia Page

Excerpts from Vanilla Ice’s Wikipedia Page, Offered Without Comment: by Sarah Marshall

1. Van Winkle married Laura Giaritta in 1997; they have two daughters, Dusti Rain (born 1998) and KeeLee Breeze (born 2000). Van Winkle is a Juggalo and a vegetarian.

2. Van Winkle’s pet wallaroo, Bucky, and pet goat, Pancho, escaped from his Port St. Lucie, Florida home in November 2004. After wandering around local streets for over a week, the animals were caught and returned to Ice.

3. On February 27, 2009, Van Winkle performed as part of a joint performance with MC Hammer in Orem, Utah called “Hammer Pants And Ice,” which featured 24 dancers and a full choir.

4. In 1993, Ice toured Eastern-Europe again and premiered songs off his upcoming album in St. Petersburg, Russia in front of President Boris Yeltsin.

5. Van Winkle branched out into the film industry with an appearance in the film Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, which he later called “one of the coolest experiences” of his career.

6. While his fame in the United States had severely dropped, Ice continued performing to sold out crowds in his 1992 world tour, playing in South America, Europe, Australia and Asia, premiering new songs like “Get Loose,” “The Wrath,” “Now & Forever,” “Where the Dogs At? (All Night Long),” “Minutes of Power” and “Iceman Path.”

7. In 2009, Van Winkle started filming a reality television series called The Vanilla Ice Project which premiered on DIY Network on October 14, 2010. The season is focused on renovating a house in Palm Beach, Florida with each episode dedicated to a different room in the house. In 2011, Van Winkle published a book on the subject, Vanilla Ice Project – Real Estate Guide on how to succeed in real estate.

8. Van Winkle decided that it was time to change his lifestyle. As a symbol of his attempt to begin anew, he got a tattoo of a leaf on his stomach.

9.  In late 1995, Van Winkle set up a recording studio in Miami and joined a grunge band, Pickin Scabz. The name was set to reflect Van Winkle’s career and how he was healing from his suicide attempt and that he was now “picking up the pieces.

“10. After a performance in Acapulco, the city honored Van Winkle with a medal that represented “all the respect and admiration to [Van Winkle’s] music and to [him] as an artist from the Mexican people.”

11. In December 2011, Van Winkle played Captain Hook in the Chatham, Kent Central Theatre pantomime production of Peter Pan, a role that previously belonged to Henry Winkler.

12. Ice’s lyricism evolved with him.

via http://thehairpin.com/2013/04/excerpts-from-vanilla-ices-wikipedia-page-offered-without-comment

I bolded some of my favorites. I wish I could have triple bolded #12. A Juggalo/vegetarian combo? Amazing. Also, Juggalo rhymes with wallaroo (okay, not really at all, but get over it), and I have no idea what these critters look like.

TELL ME GOOGLE IMAGES..

OMGOSH. I want like seven of these now.

& BRB, gotta go to Amazon & get a copy of that book from #7…

What the hell. They only have Ice by Ice: The Vanilla Ice Story in His Own Words. THIS IS A TRAVESTY (although now I kind of want that one too, but still). I can’t believe my most beloved Amazon failed me. Hmm, maybe they have some wallaroos I can buy.

At least I found some Ice + TMNT action:

I hope I have a dream about this tonight