“HER LAST NAME IS NOT EVEN USED ONCE”
& more! all funny.
From online discussions to adverts, Chinese culture is full of puns. But the country’s print and broadcast watchdog has ruled that there is nothing funny about them.
It has banned wordplay on the grounds that it breaches the law on standard spoken and written Chinese, makes promoting cultural heritage harder and may mislead the public – especially children.
The casual alteration of idioms risks nothing less than “cultural and linguistic chaos”, it warns.
City to strike ban on being willfully annoying
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (AP) — It’s soon expected to be OK to be willfully annoying in Grand Rapids.
The Grand Rapids Press reports (http://bit.ly/1cqxCRm ) that the City Commission is nixing a 38-year-old section of city code that states “no person shall willfully annoy another person.” City Attorney Catherine Mish recommended repealing the language, saying the wording is “unconstitutional in terms of being vague” and “simply unenforceable.” A final decision is expected March 11.
related: there’s apparently a wiki how on How to Not Be Annoying in case you are ridiculously maladjusted.
..While the untamed, flesh-ish colored fur-like thing resting atop Trump’s head may look like his own hair, our investigators were shocked to discover its true origin: a genetically modified rodent. We learned that Trump employs a team of scientists consisting of biologists, geneticists and cryptozoologists who work full-time behind the ornate golden doors of a secret laboratory located inside Trump’s gaudy lavish New York penthouse. Their job is to create and raise a large herd of furry, chimera-like rodents consisting of the spliced DNA of orangutans, rabid weasels, caterpillars and most troubling, a dead chupacabra found flattened on a remote road in East Texas. Trump barges into the laboratory every morning to mercilessly grab a woeful creature and slap it atop his head. The younger, smaller creatures are used as Trump’s eyebrows and if you look closely, you may observe them curled up and sleeping on the hot orange flesh above The Donald’s angry eyes..
Moreover, when Attorney Cooper said that gay marriage could harm the moral fabric of the country and hurt the institution of marriage, Associate Justice Sotomayor asked, “What are you even talking about?” while Justice Anthony Kennedy reportedly muttered, “You got to be fucking kidding me,” under his breath.
or dead groundhog hogging ground.. burial ground.. something something.. I’m tired.
Punxsutawney Phil indicted for false informing
The indictment, filed by Butler County Prosecuting Attorney Michael Gmoser, alleges that on or about February 02, 2013, at Gobbler’s Knob, Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with
prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that Spring would come early.
What’s in store now for Phil? Pending an extradition hearing, Gmoser says it’s curtains for the little guy, suggesting that the penance for such a misrepresentation should be the death penalty.
“Since he’s already serving a life sentence behind bars, as you know. There wasn’t much left as far as a penalty other than a death sentence,” added Gmoser.