We arrived on set just in time to witness a scene from the third episode of the final season (which premieres October 4 at 8 p.m. on NBC), in which Fey’s Liz Lemon is appalled to learn a shocking secret about Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan). Explains Fey, “I discover that Tracy Jordan has tweeted, “I agree @theRealStephenHawking. Women are just not funny — never have been, never will be. #plotpoint.” (We won’t ruin the outcome for you, but suffice it to say that the resolution involves Lemon dressed in a lab coat and declaring, “Don’t thank me — thank Roe v. Wade!”)
… And of course we didn’t let her get away without giving us some scoop on 30 Rock‘s final season, which will involve a “sexual awakening” for Liz Lemon, a Skype conversation between Jack Donaghy and Ann Romney’s horse Rafalca, and the return of Matthew Broderick as Cooter. “I think it will be hard,” says Fey of ending the series. But there’s hope for us all, Fey fans, as it seems the 42-year-old multihyphenate isn’t done with the small screen just yet: “I would love to get another TV show on the air someday.”
My god I love Tina Fey. I wish we could just clone her and have a million more. SO MUCH LOVE.
I look forward to stealing this issue from a doctor’s office.
A newly released video shows Tom Smith, a Republican Senate candidate in Pennsylvania, making a sexist remark during a Paul Ryan campaign event last week.
Tom Smith, the Republican Senate candidate from Pennsylvania who said earlier this week that pregnancy from rape was similar to “having a baby out of wedlock,” made another sexist remark to two women at a campaign event for vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan.
A video released Thursday by the Pennsylvania Democrats shows Smith, who introduced Ryan at an event last week, greeting two women in the crowd and asking them what they’re talking about.
“We’re talking about the power of petite women,” one of the women says.
“Oh,” Smith responds. “My guess would have been you were talking about shoes.”
Republicans have been working extra hard to appeal to female voters in order to distance themselves from Todd Akin’s notorious “legitimate rape” comment and to make their party appear more diverse. Candidates like Smith, who is challenging incumbent Sen. Bob Casey (D-Pa.) in the November election, could potentially put a serious dent in that effort.
In addition to the “shoes” comment, Smith also made an odd economic analogy at a campaign event on Monday about a woman wrecking her husband’s car.
“Perhaps where we’re making our mistake is that we are asking President Obama and Senator Bob Casey to do something they have no knowledge of. They’ve never been in business, they’ve never ran [sic] businesses, they don’t have that knowledge,” Smith said. “It would be like, your wife wrecks your car. You’re gonna take it to the beauty salon to get fixed? No.”
Tom Smith’s campaign did not immediately return a request for comment.
Oh & if you don’t know the picture at the top, you must watch this:
Actually read through the whole thing if it doesn’t hurt your brain too much’s. If not, my favorite’s include’sssssss:
– ENVIRONMENTALIST’S (really?)
– P.K’s (seriously can not figure out what this is)
– EFFEMINATE MEN (uhh what)
– EMO’S (lol)
– LOUD MOUTH WOMEN (well this one makes sense at least)
Please pardon the Kardash, but I was amazed at the amount of makeup (or, I guess, the amount of under-the-makeup stuff) used. My face itches just thinking about it. I knew they used a lot of cosmetics for cover shoots but my lord. Wouldn’t it just be easier to photoshop in everything?
‘The Ultimate Guide to Writing Better Than You Normally Do’ by Colin Nissan
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WRITE EVERY DAY
Writing is a muscle. Smaller than a hamstring and slightly bigger than a bicep, and it needs to be exercised to get stronger. Think of your words as reps, your paragraphs as sets, your pages as daily workouts. Think of your laptop as a machine like the one at the gym where you open and close your inner thighs in front of everyone, exposing both your insecurities and your genitals. Because that is what writing is all about.
Procrastination is an alluring siren taunting you to Google the country where Balki from Perfect Strangers was from, and to arrange sticky notes on your dog in the shape of hilarious dog shorts. A wicked temptress beckoning you to watch your children, and take showers. Well, it’s time to look procrastination in the eye and tell that seafaring wench, “Sorry not today, today I write.”
FIGHT THROUGH WRITER’S BLOCK
The blank white page. El Diablo Blanco. El Pollo Loco. Whatever you choose to call it, staring into the abyss in search of an idea can be terrifying. But ask yourself this; was Picasso intimidated by the blank canvas? Was Mozart intimidated by the blank sheet music? Was Edison intimidated by the blank lightbulb? If you’re still blocked up, ask yourself more questions, like; Why did I quit my job at TJ Maxx to write full-time? Can/should I eat this entire box of Apple Jacks? Is The Price is Right on at 10 or 11?
LEARN FROM THE MASTERS
Mark Twain once said, “Show, don’t tell.” This is an incredibly important lesson for writers to remember; never get such a giant head that you feel entitled to throw around obscure phrases like “Show, don’t tell.” Thanks for nothing, Mr. Cryptic.
FIND YOUR MUSE
Finding a really good muse these days isn’t easy, so plan on going through quite a few before landing on a winner. Beware of muses who promise unrealistic timelines for your projects or who wear wizard clothes. When honing in on a promising new muse, also be on the lookout for other writers attempting to swoop in and muse-block you. Just be patient in your search, because the right muse/human relationship can last a lifetime.
HONE YOUR CRAFT
There are two things more difficult than writing. The first is editing, the second is expert level Sudoku where there’s literally two goddamned squares filled in. While editing is a grueling process, if you really work hard at it, in the end you may find that your piece has fewer words than it did before. Which, is great. Perhaps George Bernard Shaw said it best when upon sending a letter to a close friend, he wrote, “I’m sorry this letter is so long, I didn’t have time to make it shorter.” No quote better illustrates the point that writers are very busy.
ASK FOR FEEDBACK
It’s so easy to hide in your little bubble, typing your little words with your little fingers on your little laptop from the comfort of your tiny chair in your miniature little house. I’m taking this tone to illustrate the importance of developing a thick skin. Remember, the only kind of criticism that doesn’t make you a better writer is dishonest criticism. That, and someone telling you that you have weird shoulders.
READ, READ, READ
It’s no secret that great writers are great readers, and that if you can’t read, your writing will often suffer. Similarly, if you can read but have to move your lips to get through the longer words, you’ll still be a pretty bad writer. Also, if you pronounce “espresso” like “expresso.”
STUDY THE RULES, THEN BREAK THEM
Part of finding your own voice as a writer is finding your own grammar. Don’t spend your career lost in a sea of copycats when you can establish your own set of rules. If everyone’s putting periods at the end of their sentences, put yours in the middle of words. Will it be incredibly difficult to read? Yes it will. Will it set you on the path to becoming a literary pioneer? Tough to say, but you’re kind of out of options at this point.
KEEP IT TOGETHER
A writer’s brain is full of little gifts, like a piñata at a birthday party. It’s also full of demons, like a piñata at a birthday party in a mental hospital. The truth is, it’s demons that keep a tortured writer’s spirit alive, not Tootsie Rolls. Sure they’ll give you a tiny burst of energy, but they won’t do squat for your writing. So treat your demons with the respect they deserve, and with enough prescriptions to keep you wearing pants.
*I bolded whatever I felt like. McSweeney is amazing, as always.