All Hail Queen Fey

We arrived on set just in time to witness a scene from the third episode of the final season (which premieres October 4 at 8 p.m. on NBC), in which Fey’s Liz Lemon is appalled to learn a shocking secret about Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan). Explains Fey, “I discover that Tracy Jordan has tweeted, “I agree @theRealStephenHawking. Women are just not funny — never have been, never will be. #plotpoint.” (We won’t ruin the outcome for you, but suffice it to say that the resolution involves Lemon dressed in a lab coat and declaring, “Don’t thank me — thank Roe v. Wade!”)

… And of course we didn’t let her get away without giving us some scoop on 30 Rock‘s final season, which will involve a “sexual awakening” for Liz Lemon, a Skype conversation between Jack Donaghy and Ann Romney’s horse Rafalca, and the return of Matthew Broderick as Cooter. “I think it will be hard,” says Fey of ending the series. But there’s hope for us all, Fey fans, as it seems the 42-year-old multihyphenate isn’t done with the small screen just yet: “I would love to get another TV show on the air someday.”

via This Week’s Cover: Tina Fey on her career in comedy and saying goodbye to ’30 Rock’ | PopWatch | EW.com.

My god I love Tina Fey. I wish we could just clone her and have a million more. SO MUCH LOVE.

I look forward to stealing this issue from a doctor’s office.


worst immune system ever

via It was brave of you to come into work with the flu and give us all the flu | Get Well Ecard | someecards.com.
Ugh totally. This will annoy me until the day I die from some illness a coworker gave me.


CRAPPY TAXIDERMY

 

 

via CRAPPY TAXIDERMY.

Easy peasy way to make your day better.


Report: It’s Not Okay To Just Start Talking To People You Don’t Know | The Onion

What-Should-I-DO

RUN!!!!!

STANFORD, CA—Citing how devastatingly uncomfortable it makes people feel, a new report released by the Stanford University Sociology Department revealed Wednesday that it’s never okay to just start talking to someone you don’t know.

The report, which analyzed numerous conversations that took place over a nine-month period from September of last year through May, states that approaching a complete and total stranger and saying “Beautiful day,” “That’s nice, where did you get that?” or “Hello” is, under no circumstance, acceptable.

In fact, the study confirmed that in 0 percent of cases do individuals ever want to be spoken to by someone they don’t know, and that it is “downright wrong” to put people who are just going about their day in the awkward position of having to be polite and feign interest in what you—an unknown intruder, essentially—are saying.

“We found that the only people it’s appropriate to talk to are friends and relatives—no one else,” the study’s lead author, Dr. Simon Gamble, told reporters, adding that dads, senior citizens, and “people who think they’re being friendly but really need to just mind their own business” are typically guilty of trying to relate to unfamiliar people. “Ninety-five percent of the time, the people being talked to experience an extreme spike in anxiety. The only thoughts going through their heads during these unwanted conversations with strangers are ‘Stop talking to me. I don’t know you. Please go away.’”

“If you feel the urge to talk to someone you don’t know, the right thing to do is suppress the impulse and just leave that individual alone,” he continued, adding that cordially smiling at someone you’ve never met is also not okay. “It doesn’t matter if you both happen to be wearing the same T-shirt.”

The report indicates that even in situations in which you might share common circumstances with a stranger—such as when you are both in a long line that doesn’t seem to be moving, or are both experiencing hot, cold, nice, or terrible weather—it is unacceptable to verbally acknowledge that reality. The appropriate thing to do, the report notes, is to face forward and keep silent.

In addition, just because you are sitting next to someone you don’t know on a bus or airplane, that doesn’t give you any right to talk to that person, even if he or she is reading a book you once read. The study goes on to state that talking to an unfamiliar person in a setting where the individual essentially can’t escape the conversation is “one of the cruelest things one human being can do to another human being.”

“Often, the person being talked to will laugh at the other’s jokes,” Gamble said. “This is always fake laughter.”

The study confirmed the following people never want to be spoken to by a stranger: people eating at the same restaurant as you; someone who is wearing a pair of shoes or a hat you like; individuals who are also waiting for the same delayed train; coworkers; a man or woman who is using a laptop you are considering buying for yourself; an individual attending the same sporting event as you; a young person who works at a job you once had years ago; and anyone who has children or pets, especially if you are a person who also has children or pets.

“If you are an outgoing individual who likes striking up conversations with strangers, you are a source of constant discomfort in this world, and have nothing to offer but anxiety and pain,” said Dr. Andrea Malcolm, chair of the Department of Psychiatry and Human Behavior at Brown University. “People don’t care that you once owned the same car or cellular phone as them, or that you loved it. They don’t care about your opinion one way or the other. They just want you to stop making their lives a living hell.”

“To them,” Malcolm continued, “you might as well be a crazy person, because why are you talking to someone you don’t even know?”

According to the report, the people who are living correctly are those who don’t want to step outside their comfort zones and relate to others.

“Your comfort zone is there for a reason,” Gamble said. “It’s so you can stay comfortable. If someone breaches that by saying hello to you, that person is the asshole, not you. Remember that.”

via Report: It’s Not Okay To Just Start Talking To People You Don’t Know | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source.

I don’t even know how I could like this Onion article that much more. So perfect.

no way is the game as awesome as this image, but whatever

no way is the game as awesome as this image, but whatever


Online Reviews Of The Bible

13 Best Online Reviews Of The Bible.


LOL WOMEN LOVE SHOES LOL KITCHEN SANDWICH PMS I BROKE A NAIL :(

kelly

A newly released video shows Tom Smith, a Republican Senate candidate in Pennsylvania, making a sexist remark during a Paul Ryan campaign event last week.

Tom Smith, the Republican Senate candidate from Pennsylvania who said earlier this week that pregnancy from rape was similar to “having a baby out of wedlock,” made another sexist remark to two women at a campaign event for vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan.

A video released Thursday by the Pennsylvania Democrats shows Smith, who introduced Ryan at an event last week, greeting two women in the crowd and asking them what they’re talking about.

“We’re talking about the power of petite women,” one of the women says.

“Oh,” Smith responds. “My guess would have been you were talking about shoes.”

Republicans have been working extra hard to appeal to female voters in order to distance themselves from Todd Akin’s notorious “legitimate rape” comment and to make their party appear more diverse. Candidates like Smith, who is challenging incumbent Sen. Bob Casey (D-Pa.) in the November election, could potentially put a serious dent in that effort.

In addition to the “shoes” comment, Smith also made an odd economic analogy at a campaign event on Monday about a woman wrecking her husband’s car.

“Perhaps where we’re making our mistake is that we are asking President Obama and Senator Bob Casey to do something they have no knowledge of. They’ve never been in business, they’ve never ran [sic] businesses, they don’t have that knowledge,” Smith said. “It would be like, your wife wrecks your car. You’re gonna take it to the beauty salon to get fixed? No.”

Tom Smith’s campaign did not immediately return a request for comment.

via Tom Smith, GOP Senate Candidate, Assumes Women Are ‘Talking About Shoes’ At Paul Ryan Campaign Event.

Oh & if you don’t know the picture at the top, you must watch this:


apostrophe blasphemy

Religious Poster Commits Horrifying Sins Against Proper Apostrophe Usage | Happy Place.

Actually read through the whole thing if it doesn’t hurt your brain too much’s. If not, my favorite’s include’sssssss:

ENVIRONMENTALIST’S (really?)

P.K’s (seriously can not figure out what this is)

EFFEMINATE MEN (uhh what)

EMO’S (lol)

LOUD MOUTH WOMEN (well this one makes sense at least)