CA man suspected of painting crosswalk

VALLEJO, Calif. (AP) — A Northern California man is facing vandalism charges after authorities say he painted a crosswalk on a street, allegedly telling officials it was needed. […]

A police cadet had been posted at the intersection until then to keep pedestrians from using it.

via Calif. man suspected of painting crosswalk – SFGate.

Mom has son arrested for stealing her Pop-Tarts

According to a Charlotte-Mecklenburg police report, the mother called investigators on Monday to report her Pop-Tarts had been stolen from her home on Goldstaff Lane. She fingered her own son, who is a juvenile, as the culprit.

via Mom has son arrested for stealing her Pop-Tarts |

It's a lot funnier if you imagine the "offender" is this young

It’s a lot funnier if you imagine the “offender” is this young

Writing Tips from Famous Authors

“The first draft of everything is shit.”– Ernest Hemingway

also, you should totally hang out with cats

“Always carry a notebook. And I mean always. The short-term memory only retains information for three minutes; unless it is committed to paper you can lose an idea for ever.” – Will Self

“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
– Mark Twain
“Don’t take anyone’s writing advice too seriously.”
– Lev Grossman

“Cool SF startup: like Zipcar but for cell phones”

via your monkey called · Cool SF startup: like Zipcar but for cell phones..


Nearly every Bluth family member has his or her own version of the Chicken Dance on Arrested Development…

And how did clapping get introduced to the move? “Because I wanted it to be only sort of threatening.”

via Inside Gob’s Arrested Development Chicken Dance — Vulture.

Man assaulted officer, complained of ‘cats eating him’

MESA, AZ – Mesa police arrested a man on suspicion of assaulting an officer after the man, apparently on drugs, complained of “cats eating him.”

Officers responded to a trespassing call near Broadway and Dobson roads in Mesa and reportedly found Derrick McDonald in the victim’s apartment acting violent. The victim told police that McDonald had entered the apartment uninvited and began screaming about cats eating him.

via Mesa police: Man assaulted officer, complained of ‘cats eating him’.

this dude must really love picnics

A Polish man has been left critically injured after he allegedly blew up his house when he realised his wife and children had gone on a picnic without him.

Czeslaw Kaminski, 69, was believed to have been so incensed when he woke to find a note from his wife to say that she had gone away for the day with the children that he decided to destroy the family home to teach her a lesson.

He allegedly started a fire in the basement of his home and threw two gas cylinders on top of the property in the village of Chechlo Drugie, near Lodz, in central Poland.

via Czeslaw Kaminski: Maybe she will invite him along next time: Husband left critically injured after blowing up his own house after wife went on picnic without him | Mail Online.

Thank god it wasn’t a BBQ. Also, it MAY have an anger problem. Not sure though.








This makes me feel SLIGHTLY better about the rent in San Francisco right now. Very slightly. I think we’re going to have to start charging our kitties rent.

Cuddles are nice, Clementine, but that don't pay my bills.

Cuddles are nice, Clementine, but that don’t pay my bills.



VIA: Real Men Don’t LOL.

300 Gallons Of Urine Found In Man’s Connecticut House

If pee stories are your persuasion, urine luck!

Authorities in Newtown, Conn. said they found a home filled with as many as 300 one-gallon jugs of urine on Friday, according to the Danbury News Times.

The state’s Department of Energy and Environmental Protection stumbled upon the discovery after local health officials asked the agency to investigate.

DEEP condemned the house and the owner could face charges, though that’s unlikely, according to WTNH.

Dennis Schain of DEEP, said he was confident the urine belonged to the owner, whose name has not been released.

“From our conversation, it seemed that he was responsible for putting the containers there,” Schain said. “It’s most unusual. Our crews have been out over the years, and they are having a hard time recalling something like this.”

via 300 Gallons Of Urine Found In Man’s Connecticut House.

This is precisely my kind of news.

Immediate questions: Was their any poo poo? Is it a plumbing thing? Was this dude doing scientific experiments on his pee? Selling clean pee for drug tests (no way he would need that much)? How many days would it take to pee that much? What kind of jugs were they.. all the same or just miscellaneous jugs? Is hoarding your own urine a thing? I NEED MORE INFO.